How many bog rolls do you need to buy or rent in the UK property market?

March 24, 2020

It’s June 2020, confidence in the UK property market remains as buyers, sellers, tenants and landlords all continue to transact via online platforms. Working from home is now the norm, however, the only currency being accepted is loo rolls.

Luckily, GetAgent.co.uk has translated previous property prices based on archaic pounds and pence into the new world currency so whether you’re buying or renting, you can stockpile your bog roll until such a time you can climb the ladder or secure your rental home.

Buying

With the average toilet roll costing 48p, homebuyers require 485,004 rolls of soft quilted goodness to afford the average UK house, however, to place a ten per cent deposit requires just 48,500.

In London, however, homebuyers require a staggering 999,839 loo rolls to buy outright or 99,984 to place a 10% mortgage deposit.

This cost is, of course, at its highest in Kensington and Chelsea where only premium brand loo roll is accepted and prospective buyers need to fork out over 2.6m of them to buy upfront, or 267,543 if they want to place a deposit.

The best value bog roll buy is in Burnley with just 18,961 required to place a deposit on a home.

Renting

Across the UK, the average monthly rent of £686 per month now means tenants require 1,417 rolls of toilet paper in order to secure a rental property. This climbs to 3,506 rolls in London – a huge 6,308 rolls a month in Kensington and Chelsea.

The North East is the most affordable region with 1,101 rolls required per month while Blaenau Gwent the most affordable area, with tenants requiring 849 rolls per month in rent.

Founder and CEO of GetAgent.co.uk, Colby Short, commented:

“Thankfully, the Government has introduced measures to ensure that everyone living across the UK property market is protected financially for the short to mid-term at least, whether they be tenants, landlords or homeowners. This will certainly come as a relief to many and should prevent the market from slipping into a dystopian future where only loo roll holds any value when transacting.

However, for those members of society that felt it necessary to stockpile half of their town or city’s loo roll with no regard for their neighbours, we thought we would highlight how much they would need to buy or rent a property. Hopefully, they’re sitting in front of their 40 rolls feeling a bit silly right now and will refrain from repeating the act.”

Number of toilet rolls vs house price and rent – Nations and regions
Location
Average house price
Average monthly rent (2019)
Loo rolls needed to buy outright
Loo rolls needed for 10% deposit
Loo rolls needed for a month’s rent
England
£251,711
£852
520,065
52,006
1,760
Wales
£165,735
£515
342,428
34,243
1,064
Scotland
£151,603
£748
313,230
31,323
1,546
Northern Ireland
£140,190
£627
289,649
28,965
1,295
United Kingdom
£234,742
£686
485,004
48,500
1,417
East Midlands
£197,048
£628
407,124
40,712
1,298
East of England
£297,714
£869
615,112
61,511
1,795
London
£483,922
£1,697
999,839
99,984
3,506
North East
£130,977
£533
270,613
27,061
1,101
North West
£166,003
£621
342,981
34,298
1,283
South East
£325,050
£998
671,590
67,159
2,062
South West
£262,286
£816
541,912
54,191
1,686
West Midlands
£201,343
£662
415,997
41,600
1,368
Yorkshire and The Humber
£168,382
£617
347,896
34,790
1,275
Ranking – by most toilet rolls to buy
Location
Average house price
Loo rolls needed to buy outright
Loo rolls needed for 10% deposit
Kensington And Chelsea
£1,294,907
2,675,428
267,543
City of Westminster
£984,511
2,034,113
203,411
Camden
£779,779
1,611,113
161,111
City of London
£738,263
1,525,337
152,534
Hammersmith and Fulham
£699,566
1,445,385
144,539
Richmond upon Thames
£647,672
1,338,165
133,816
Islington
£629,529
1,300,680
130,068
South Bucks
£613,401
1,267,358
126,736
Wandsworth
£603,883
1,247,692
124,769
Elmbridge
£596,320
1,232,067
123,207
Haringey
£562,296
1,161,769
116,177
Hackney
£556,223
1,149,222
114,922
Chiltern
£543,338
1,122,599
112,260
St Albans
£527,035
1,088,916
108,892
Lambeth
£519,275
1,072,882
107,288
Ranking – by least toilet rolls to buy
Location
Average house price
Loo rolls needed to buy outright
Loo rolls needed for 10% deposit
Burnley
£91,773
189,615
18,961
East Ayrshire
£94,249
194,729
19,473
Hyndburn
£101,050
208,781
20,878
Blaenau Gwent
£101,642
210,005
21,000
Inverclyde
£102,979
212,767
21,277
County Durham
£103,668
214,190
21,419
North Ayrshire
£104,211
215,311
21,531
Pendle
£106,002
219,012
21,901
West Dunbartonshire
£107,029
221,134
22,113
Blackpool
£108,185
223,522
22,352
North Lanarkshire
£111,559
230,493
23,049
Middlesbrough
£112,257
231,936
23,194
Hartlepool
£112,409
232,250
23,225
City of Kingston upon Hull
£112,904
233,272
23,327
Stoke-on-Trent
£114,301
236,158
23,616
Ranking – by most toilet rolls to rent
Location
Average monthly rent
Loo rolls needed for a month’s rent
Kensington And Chelsea
£3,053
6,308
City of Westminster
£3,018
6,236
Camden
£2,536
5,240
City of London
£2,446
5,054
Hammersmith and Fulham
£2,117
4,374
Islington
£1,914
3,955
Wandsworth
£1,883
3,890
Richmond upon Thames
£1,857
3,837
Hackney
£1,834
3,789
Tower Hamlets
£1,803
3,725
Elmbridge
£1,784
3,686
Lambeth
£1,754
3,624
Southwark
£1,654
3,417
Haringey
£1,558
3,219
Brent
£1,535
3,171
Ranking – by least toilet rolls to rent
Location
Average monthly rent
Loo rolls needed for a month’s rent
Blaenau Gwent
£411
849
Rhondda Cynon Taf
£419
865
City of Kingston upon Hull
£437
903
Carmarthenshire
£458
945
Powys
£462
954
Burnley
£462
955
Middlesbrough
£469
969
Neath Port Talbot
£469
969
North East Lincolnshire
£470
971
Pembrokeshire
£471
972
Merthyr Tydfil
£472
975
Hyndburn
£476
983
Hartlepool
£479
990
North Lincolnshire
£481
994
Fermanagh and Omagh
£482
996

 

Sources:
Average house price
Average rents
Eng
Scot
Wal
NI

 

Average toilet roll cost of 0.48p taken from across Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Amazon.

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