You know you’re an estate agent when…
Estate Agents receive a lot of stick and much of it unfairly (no, really). After all, they’re the people who risk life and limb to tread into the unknown; enduring fierce animals, strange smells and, in some cases, even stranger vendors. It’s not always an easy job, but each hurdle (or odour) serves as a type of initiation; you’re not truly an estate agent unless you’ve experienced at least one odd encounter.
To prove the point, we asked estate agents across the nation for their own examples and they didn’t disappoint. They told us that you know you’re an estate agent when…
…The vendor says: “You must see my greenhouse” – which turns out to be a beautifully constructed 6×4 foot house made of Gordon’s Gin bottles
…When the buyer refers to the seller as ‘Mr Dicks’ when their real names is ‘Cocks’, but you can’t pluck up courage to correct them
…When the owner says: “Don’t touch the house rabbit as it bites”
…When the owner bursts into tears and tells you all about her love affair, then gives you a written summary detailing the sordid history
(Ian Lange, Humberts Honiton)
…Your friends invite you over for dinner just to get a valuation on their property
…You’re constantly asked what the market will be like in two, three, five or 10 years’ time
(Marina and Lionel from Paramount Properties)
…People ask you round for dinner to tell you the price of their property rather than ask you!
…At dinner parties, GPs tell you how relieved they are that you’re there, as the other guests ask you about houses rather than ask them about their ailments!
…Homeowners tell you they have the “largest plot on the development” or “when we bought this house we got an absolute bargain”
…You can tell instantly if the homeowners have got divorced
(Neal Mackenzie, Michael Hardy Residential Estate Agents)
…You know the difference between solid oak flooring and engineered oak flooring in three paces
…You know post codes better than Royal Mail
(The team at Hancock & Partners)
…You start knocking on every wall to see if it’s load bearing
…Walking around strangers’ bedrooms is the norm
…You try to sell your mum’s new house to her next door neighbour for some extra shopping money
(Georgie Wall, former estate agent)
…On viewings you act as care home or crèche… I know people who have been left with grandmas and children whilst the viewers look round
(The team at Flick & Son)
… You visit an elderly relative at their home and see the pound signs flash before your eyes
…Your weekly spend on hair gel exceeds your weekly spend in food
(@pure_evil_DJ, former estate agent)
…You always carry air freshener and a hand held hoover in the boot of your car
…You have to work out the kindest way to explain to a vendor that ‘wet dog smell’ isn’t high on the Glade bestsellers list
…You walk in on a vendor naked and have to act as if it’s completely normal in front of the viewers
(Deborah Garrett, former estate agent)
…A part of you wonders if today will be the day you come across a body in a vacant property
(@eabanter via Twitter)
As you can probably discern from the above, being an estate agent can be an interesting career – throwing you into amusing situations, allowing you to meet incredible people and testing your resolve. However, it’s one of the few careers in which no two days can possibly ever be the same and at the very least, you’ll have a story or two to tell.
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